Mein Blog zum Thema Privatsphäre, Internet und Humor.
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| IMHO - in my humble opinion - Mein Blog zum Thema Privatsphäre, Internet und Humor. |
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++ Quizfrage (mit Schwein!) ++
 Du fährst mit dem Auto und hältst eine konstante Geschwindigkeit. Auf Deiner linken Seite befindet sich ein Abhang. Auf Deiner rechten Seite fährt ein riesiges Feuerwehrauto und hält die gleiche Geschwindigkeit wie Du. Vor Dir galoppiert ein Schwein, das eindeutig grösser ist als Dein Auto und Du kannst nicht vorbei. Hinter Dir verfolgt Dich ein Hubschrauber auf Bodenhöhe. Das Schwein und der Hubschrauber haben exakt deine Geschwindigkeit.
Was unternimmst Du, um dieser Situation gefahrlos zu entkommen ??? !negietsba llessurakredniK mov dnu nefuas regineW <=== posted by Kaspar on www.imho.ch | direkter Link: Dienstag, August 26, 2003 top ++ The Buffalos ++
posted by Kaspar
on www.imho.ch | direkter Link: Montag, August 25, 2003 top
++ Noch Fragen? ++
posted by Kaspar
on www.imho.ch | direkter Link: Montag, August 25, 2003 top
++ Joke: The perfect dress ++
The wedding day was fast approaching. Everything was ready, and nothing could dampen Jennifer's excitement, not even her parents' nasty divorce. Her mother Sheila finally found the PERFECT dress to wear and would be the best dressed mother of the bride EVER!
A week later, Jennifer was horrified to learn her new young stepmother, Barbie, had purchased the same dress. She asked Barbie to exchange the dress, but Barbie refused, "Absolutely not! I'm going to wear this dress; I'll look like a million in it!" Jennifer told her mother, who graciously replied, "Never mind dear. I'll get another dress, after all it's your special day, not hers." Two weeks later, another dress was finally found. When they stopped for lunch, Jennifer asked her mother, "What are you going to do with the first dress? Maybe you should return it. You don't have any place to wear it." Sheila grinned and replied, "Of course, I do, dear! I'm wearing it to the rehearsal dinner!" posted by Kaspar on www.imho.ch | direkter Link: Samstag, August 09, 2003 top ++ Joke: Three Strangers (Bad one) ++
Three strangers at the Great Falls airport are awaiting their flights. One is a Native American on his way to Helena for a statewide pow-wow. Another, a ranch hand on his way to Billings for a stock show. The third passenger is a fundamentalist Arab student, newly arrived, and on his way to study engineering at Montana Tech.
To pass the time they strike up a conversation on recent events, and the discussion drifts to their diverse cultures. Soon the westerners learn that the Arab is a devout radical Muslim, and believes his people are justified in their 'holy' war. The conversation falls into an uneasy lull. The cowpoke leans back in his chair, crosses his boots on a magazine table and tips his big sweat-stained hat forward over his face. The wind outside blows and blows and the old windsock flaps but no plane comes. Finally, the Native American clears his throat and softly he speaks:" Once, my people were many, now we are few." The radical Muslim raises an eyebrow and leans forward, "Once my people were few," he sneers, "and now we are many. Why do you suppose that is?" The Cowboy shifts the toothpick to one side of his mouth and from the darkness beneath his Stetson says, "That's 'cause we ain't played Cowboys and Muslims yet. posted by Kaspar on www.imho.ch | direkter Link: Freitag, August 08, 2003 top ++ URGENT: Heart of Gold annouces return to blue planet ++
 The story of the spaceship Heart Of Gold is a long and sometimes tragic one. We are not going to repeat everything that has been said so far but it can be considered public knowledge that this technology-loaded vessel is probably one of the most remarkable objects in this galaxy's recent history.
Meeting point will be: N 52.57959 E 13.69414 Aber wisst ihr das Beste? Der Live-Radio-Sender "SubEther-Radio" direkt von der Landestelle!! Ein bisschen Schadenfreude kommt schon auf, wenn Deutsche versuchen Englisch zu sprechen. Und das lustige: es toent fast gleich wie bei den Schweizern .... ... und die Musik wie bei der Streetparade. posted by Kaspar on www.imho.ch | direkter Link: Donnerstag, August 07, 2003 top ++ Joke: schoolgirls and lipstick ++
A small middle school had a problem with a few of the older girls starting to use lipstick. When applying it in the bathroom they would then press their lips to the mirror and leave lip prints.
The new principal was informed of the ongoing problem at a staff meeting and decided to put an end to the practice that day. He summoned every girl wearing lipstick to the ladies room at 2pm. They gathered at 2pm and found the principal and the school custodian waiting for them. The principal explained that it was becoming a problem for the custodian to clean the mirror every night. He said he felt the girls did not fully understand how much of a problem it was and he wanted them to witness just how hard it was to clean. The custodian then demonstrated. He took a brush on a long handle out of a box. He then dipped the brush in the nearest toilet, moved to the mirror and proceeded to remove the lipstick. That was the last day the girls pressed their lips on the mirror. posted by Kaspar on www.imho.ch | direkter Link: Donnerstag, August 07, 2003 top ++ Joke: from rec.crafts.woodturning ++
My wife came in today and asked if I would go do some turning. Ahh, I asked, what do you need? Maybe a new dibber or possibly a rolling pin or a vase? I have Persimmon, Hickory, Mesquite, a little bit of Walnut and a tad of Oak - what would you like?
Oh, I don't care. I need about six bags of shavings for the flower beds... It's so nice to know my turning is appreciated. posted by Kaspar on www.imho.ch | direkter Link: Donnerstag, August 07, 2003 top ++ Joke: Warning signs ++
My husband, not happy with my mood swings, bought me a mood ring the other day so that he would be able to monitor my moods. When I'm in a good mood it turns green. When I'm in a bad mood it leaves a big red mark on his forehead.
posted by Kaspar on www.imho.ch | direkter Link: Mittwoch, August 06, 2003 top ++ Joke: Don't argue with children ++
 A little girl was talking to her teacher about whales.
The teacher said it was physically impossible for a whale to swallow a human because even though it was a very large mammal its throat was very small. The little girl stated that Jonah was swallowed by a whale. Irritated, the teacher reiterated that a whale could not swallow a human; it was physically impossible. The little girl said, "When I get to heaven I will ask Jonah." The teacher asked, "What if Jonah went to hell?" The little girl replied, "Then you ask him." posted by Kaspar on www.imho.ch | direkter Link: Dienstag, August 05, 2003 top ++ Joke: poisonous mushrooms ++
Years ago while attending a dinner party hosted by some friends of mine the hostess served a meal with this delicious mushroom sauce. After the meal there was a small amount left over and the hostess decided to allow her pregnant cat to enjoy the treat as well as the guests. The guests all felt it was a great gesture and showed the cat was a member of the family.
The sauce was the highlight of the evenings topic of conversation, everyone commented on how delicious it was, and the hostess beamed at all the compliments. One of the guest commented that toadstools were much like mushrooms except for being toxic, and how funny it would be is such a culinary treat were made from that instead. As if on cue, the pet cat started crying and squirming on the floor, clutching its belly. The hostess exclaimed, "Oh my God, it's the mushroom sauce!" We all went to the emergency room in a mad rush, and had our stomachers pumped after telling them we had eaten poisonous mushrooms. This was an extremely unpleasant experience. We we got back, the cat was lying on the floor peacefully looking up at us, and had given birth to kittens. posted by Kaspar on www.imho.ch | direkter Link: Montag, August 04, 2003 top ++ Joke: Sunbathing around Redneks ++
The out-of-state couple are camping on the shores of a lake near a tiny hamlet. The young wife, stunningly built, decides to give the local town folk a thrill by sun bathing in the nude.
"That's OK with me, honey," says her husband. "I'll go get some wood for the fire." About thirty minutes later, the husband returns to the campsite and finds his wife in tears. One of her breasts has been painted green, the other red and her ass is blue. "What on earth happened to you dear?" he asks. "Some of those rednecks from town came over and told me they don't allow any nakedness around these parts. Then they gave me this paint job!" "Damn those trouble-makers! I'll fix them!" the husband shouts. He rides into town and finds the rednecks in a bar. "Who is the SOB who painted my wife red, green and blue!" he shouts. A huge redneck, about 6'-8," steps forward, a shotgun in his hands. "I did it," he bellows. "What you got to say about it?" The husband answers meekly, "I just wanted you to know the first coat of paint is dry." posted by Kaspar on www.imho.ch | direkter Link: Sonntag, August 03, 2003 top ++ FUN: Online-Game: GLOBAL COMBAT ++
 Wenn ihr "Risk" kennt, dann werdet ihr dieses Spiel hier lieben: ihr koennt Online gegen andere Spieler versuchen die Welt zu erobern. Waehrend der Computer im Trainings-Modus recht einfach zu schlagen ist, beisst ihr euch an den Profispielern sicher relativ schnell die Zaehne aus. Aber es macht Spass. Vergesst nicht, die Zeit fuer einen Spielzug auf ca. 2 Min. anzusetzen, falls ihr nicht zu lange warten wollt, bis der/die Gegner zieht.
Probiert's aus - es macht Spass! posted by Kaspar on www.imho.ch | direkter Link: Sonntag, August 03, 2003 top ++ Joke: Bush's reading capabilities ++
After numerous rounds of "We don't even know if Saddam is still alive," Saddam decided to send George W. a letter in his own writing to let him know that he is still in the game. Bush opened the letter and it appeared to contain a coded message:
370HSSV-0773H George W. couldn't figure it out so he typed it out and emailed it to Colin Powell. Colin and his aides had no clue either so they sent it to the CIA. No one could solve it so it went to the NSA and then to MIT and NASA and the Secret Service... the list got longer and longer. Eventually they asked Mossad in Israel for help. Capt.. Moishe Pippick took one look at it and replied: "Tell the President he is looking at the message upside down..." posted by Kaspar on www.imho.ch | direkter Link: Samstag, August 02, 2003 top |
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